Day 40 (Sun., July 17)

Today was a spiritual day on so many levels.

Last night I went to the supermarket and filled my fridge up with groceries. It felt good, I have been eating a lot of junk and not cooking as often as I would like. Now that my fridge is full, I will be cooking this coming up week.

After my cup of joe was ready to go. I popped in Salt of the Earth, a really cool movie I been meaning to watch. Man, that was such a encouraging film. I learned a lot. I learned about the Mexican-American miners in a New Mexico town. Their struggle against corporate to get equal treatment as their Anglo co-workers. The movie has a great message of unity, equality, feminism, Xicano pride, family and social evolution. I love the way it showed the struggle and the determination of these people -- particularly the womyn. I was impressed. This is the only U.S. film that was blacklisted. I can see how government and corporate might feel threatened by this movie. It's so powerful and tells people about standing up for themselves.

Watching the film made me think a lot. I took notes. Haha, I guess I am a total geek for doing so. But, it's amazing how much it made me think. I love movies like that. This 1954 black-and-white film does the job. It teaches you something.

Among the notes include:

- Good Coffee: The man in the movie hated the way the coffee tasted when it was done by people other than his wife. It's good when you can find someone that makes your coffee the way you like it. I guess it's a sign when you meet a womyn that knows how to make your coffee.

- Santo celebration: In Mexican culture, a "santo" is the name of the saint which has your name. Every Spanish name has a santo and throughout the year, there is a saint assigned to a day. For example, San Julio is on April 12, so that can be considered time for people to throw a party for me. In the movie, the husband celebrates his wife's santo in a special way. Through serenade, beer and people from the barrio they celebrate her santo. It makes you think about that special man who will do anything for his mate to make her feel special on her special day. I think people who have someone to celebrate something for them, especially in a surprising way, should be very appreciative of what their mate can do and how much the mate went through to make it happen.

- Benito Juarez: This is the first Mexican president. In the movie there's a quote when an Anglo and a Mexican-American are talking about Benito Juarez. The Chicano tells that if he did not know who George Washington is, then he'd be a dumb Mexican. But what if the Anglo doesn't know who Benito Juarez is? How should he be labeled. I think that people should really think about that. Especially, those who travel to Juarez, Mexico. There are so many people who go party and enjoy what Juarez has to offer, but have no idea how the town got it's name. Then again, I like to find out things like that about where I live. For example, Los Angeles got its name from the original Spanish settlers who called their first church there "Santisima Maria, Reyna de los Angeles". If you ever go to downtown Los Angeles and visit Olvera Street, go to the church across the street and you'll see where that big city was started.

- Strong womyn in the household: The reason why these people were victorious in getting equality was becuase they had strong womyn supporting them in their cause. The picketing got strong when the womyn got involved. Please, don't take a womyn's power forgranted.

- Chancla action: There's a funny email that has been running around from computer to computer. It says "you know you're Mexican, if..." and has a list of things that describe the Chicano culture. The first one says "if you got hit w/ a chancla". A "chancla" is a funny term for shoe. In the film, the main character slaps the gun off a sherriff's hand w/ her chancla. It was a perfect way to show who these people were and the strength of the womyn.

- Esperanza: That's the name of the main character. Her name means hope. That's also my grandmother's name.

- Quote galore: There are too many quotes in the film that I have stored in my memory bank. The coolest one is when Esperanza tells her husband "I don't want to go down fighting, I want to win."

I saw a bunch of movies today. After this great movie, I followed it with the final part to Major League, the funny baseball movie that depicts the Cleveland Indians. I saw a bit of The Next Best Thing, a Madonna movie that reflects on relationships. I was drawn away from that movie as I headed to church.

Today was the first time I went to church her in San Angelo. Mostly because I have been on the road on most weekends since I got here. I walked into Sacred Heart Cathedral and enjoyed mass. I had a good talk w/ God as I had to thank him for saving my life a week before when I was in that awful car accident. I am still traumatized by it as I keep on seeing how that SUV hit less than a foot away from my shoulder going high speed on a major interstate highway. Just writing about it brings back some scary feelings. I felt good going to church.

When I got home, I cooked for myself. I had a great supper as I watched Bells of San Angelo, one of the old west movies I got recently. I also saw Austin Powers. Pretty much, today I was on extremes as far as movies. The movie w/ a message, the funny, dorky type and the cowboy one.

Today I am enjoying an anniversary. I have been a legal resident of the United States for two years now. In 2003, after spending 15 years in this country, I was given permanent residency. I had been on work permit since 1998, but I was not allowed to travel outside of the country until I became a resident. Since then, I have traveled to Mexico twice and have kept a better relationship w/ my family in Mexico State. The funny thing about getting my residency is that instead of making me more "American" as I reached a milestone in the assimilation process, it made me more "Mexican". I say that because since then I have gone to see my family in Mexico. Going back has allowed me to realize who I am and where I came from. It made me proud to be Mexican and Chicano. Now, I have to wait three more years to apply for U.S. citizenship. I can't wait for that. I can't wait to actually vote. I have been an adult for eight years and I have yet to vote. The only vote I ever made was during my school elections at CSUN. It's not the same. It worries me how all these citizens who are around my age group just let their vote go to waste. They don't vote and that's such a shame. Last November I sat around and saw how my age group did not show up to vote. Just a small number of them. How pathetic. My age group is one that needs the most government help. We whine about things, yet we don't do anything about it. Such a waste. In three years I will be a citizen and I will become it just in time for the next presidential election. I can't wait to vote, maybe next election won't have such a discouraging outcome.

I am glad I took the time to be w/ myself. I had a great time today.

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